The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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