I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
