I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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