It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
