yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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