giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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