Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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