booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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