There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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