Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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