it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize