Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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