IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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