The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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