just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize