Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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