I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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