apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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