So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
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yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm too high and old for this...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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