i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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