i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
