Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
