So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
