He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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