Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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