belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
