Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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