i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
