there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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