I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
