Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
