White coat. Heels.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
