my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
