I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
