you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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