i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize