we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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