$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
