My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
