i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
tonight lets celebrate not being married
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
