I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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