your parents love me but you hate me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
