my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
