I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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