I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
