if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
