As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
