dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize