That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
