You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
