i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
being pregnant is like rehab
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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