remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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