That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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