After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
