At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
