My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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