I must be too annoying 4 u.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did I show you my penis last night?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
