His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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