she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
