You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
