Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
